Ok so apoligies for the sinister sounding title but I’m just writing down my train of thought right now, and Mommy Trap just fits. No i don’t feel trapped by motherhood and Yes i love my babies absolutely.
You see some of us become mothers and totally immerse ourselves into the throes of motherhood… exclusively.
We busy ourselves with nurturing away our days and nights untill it’s routine… full time, full on mommying. we fall into the mommy trap.
Now this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, many mothers find a work life (And other things) balance. They are super human mommies… i on the otherhand am a mere mortal mommy… I get tired, I like a little space to myself, I like to indulge in some personal interests , have grown up conversations with out constant interruption, I must eat at least two meals a day and I didn’t sign up for this level of professional refereeing duties.
For some of us it can become very over whelming. It’s a beautiful privilege most of the time however on the occasion or shall I say occasions where the intensity of 24 hr parenting sky rockets… something happens similar to a fuse blowing, demand is too great and your sanity blows a fuse.
For example I’ve spent a long weekend up north with my husband’s family and they are great, so hospitable. We are setting off for home and we pull in for some diesel… As my husband pops in to pay and fetch snacks my two infants in the back of the car begin to bicker which turns into a full on rumble, which starts my toddler off who is in the front passenger seat…
“Mama pick up.. what about me MaMa… no MaMa.. Mummy no mummy (on repeat/loop).. “
which then wakes up my sleeping new born next to me. As all this is happening I see my husband strolling around browsing the snack aisle, then checking out the hot drinks menu. He’s seemingly floating around peacefully mulling over his grazing options whilst I’m sitting in the little truck full of what then seemed like four crazy tiny little creatures… it can get a bit much to say the least!
I have four young children, eldest is 5 and the youngest is 4 months and my gosh they are demanding and challenging and beautifully amazing creatures. But personally i feel like intense mommying without any other real personal pusuits is like being on a round about that you drive around all day everyday without coming off for a break, no intersting detours or new routes just the same 100mph drive down the M24/7 (M for MaMa)
Mommies it’s important to have mental breaks from mommying, find some mental and physical space for yourself. Its not selfish but helps realign life balance. And everything in moderation is key. Aside from making time to look after yourself physically, you have a mind and spirit to take care of. When was the last time you picked up a book, or took some time for peaceful reflection, to pray without rushing, even pursued an interest or gave your aspirations some real thought.
Becoming a mother brings a new strength and wisdom (you’d hope anyway), take help from those around you, make time and invest some energy into your beautiful selves.. your babies will Love you for it, remember Happy mommies mean Happy babies xx